Monday 11 May 2015

GRINDR FANTASIA by Iain Morrison

Hello Juan!

I'm Iain, the new neighbour in number 11 upstairs. I think it's you anyway - Eneida told me your name.

I'm moving some furniture upstairs on Sunday morning/pm that's quite big. Would you be able to move your bike that day so I can get past please?

That'd be great. Looking forward to meeting you.

*Really* looking forward to meeting you.
irl, it'll be great to meet you.
It'll be great to meet you in real life, after this chat.
So would you like to meet up then?


came on here looking for the woman of my dreams
but guess I couldnae Findr.

It's 2014, NOT having a gay sex life isn't an option, srsly.

Hello, just joined and seeing who's around

Hey, how are you?
Hey, how's things?
Nice mossy wall.
Lol, look who it is. You disgust me. 

Looking for:

Friends, dates, networking, chat, right now

post update of irl

going outside irl becomes quite a shock
when you can see all these
people that aren't even filtered out
aargh where's the filter button
(over 18, under 45)
Man. Put on your headphones
Man. Your head smarts
put me in your (sex) pool
waiting for the chat to start
Hung top, 210 feet away
looking for: networking.

Loading more guys
I feel like your little girl.
Do you want to get eaten?
Loading more guys

I say I'm partnered so I can turn down people without being rude.

You're unattractive.
Oh no!
Oh no?
I don't tend to get flirty till I've seen a picture.
Looking for a reason to come off this thing.
Happily partnered. Back here again for different reasons.
It's easy to hurt people, see.
Huh, it's cool to be cruel
This is how I spend my days, my nights in June, July,
Falling asleep with nine men's faces pressed against my cheek.
running out of battery.

Try to get closer to the essential meaning of sex.

I design lampshades.
I'm celibate and don't see that changing any time soon.
I'll be honest, the topless selfie made me retreat.
There's more good things to come,
I'm bottomless too.
I guess
I'm in Glasgow for the night.
Hey gurl.

Helps you to know who you might be interesting slash interested.

Where's the fun in the app?

I'm not outgoing person, and non drink,

Profile pic doesn't mean that I need a sex!
Cocktail skills are good skills to have.
Is your pic in a botanic garden or somewhere?
The orchid garden Singapore
Wow I imagine that must be beautiful.
Send location.

Looking for a festival fling before real life starts, irl.

Fringe Friends
It's not difficult to find time for a coffee.
Healthy amounts of male nudity
Come and see my shows - I'm in two.
Looking for: chat, networking, 2 for one, audience.

Nah, Currently lying on a bed regretting my decision to drink, ha ha.

I had a wank thinking about you today.

Oh yeh, and duct tape over yr mouth too!
my cock would be in your moth, mouth, so kinda difficult lol.

Aww pal, how is it?

We're gonna have great times Iain.
Italian one?
Il me faut practicer mes francais.
Good guess mate, it's Tromso dialect.

Through in Edinburgh for Pride.

If you're even thinking of voting no,
jog on.
Voting Yes!
5,599 miles away
Hi, you look great lol
Come to the party, comb through
different movements based on parameters like location
intent intentioned
sorts of guys
intend the age range thing. ideally

Close to my own age please?

No one older than 23, unless you're something pretty special.
Older's my thing, don't ask me why.
Looking for younger, sincere guys, sincer.
Profiles without ages really annoy me.
I'm 35 how old are you?
I think we both look good for our age ;-)
Lol, I was thinking the same.
hi how're you.
Let's fuck
Will you marry me?

The way the body can carry the smell of its conquest

The pig fat enters my fingers as I clean the frying pan 
Lost/found, offers, receipts.
Do you do bjjs?
Twink slaved.
Looking for.
I love you all guys.
Everyone here is on their own difficult journey. 
Be kind.
Please be nice.
Queer as fuck.

Well I'm not sure if it is time best place to find a relationship

but who never knows
at least it's a place to know people.
It's opened my eyes to the desires of the
ordinary teen.
You've got such a great quote on your profile. Thanks for sharing it. smiley face.
settler down
looking for married.
Be single
Be plural
I desire enough
Something for everyone.
Love to chat
Apart from you.
Block or reply.
Bored of this.

On what basis am I choosing these people.

You seem really nice. Which is rare on here I think.
19 years old, keeping it discreet.
Oh god I'm so tempted but it's quite far!!
But I do really wanna meet you.
I quite like a bear x
Not my type.
Block me please.

I'm still loving with the same people so I must have done something right.

An intellectual conversation on Grindr - get us.
I've always fantasised about being watched so porn was the most logical way to fulfil that desire.

On what basis am I choice?

Clearly not the most startling one
at the intersection, as you showed
by turning up the amplification on
connect ability. To give a good single signal.

Wandering around with you irl is like hotwiring reality.

Boys are wild
Wild boy.
Are you young and cute and want to make the best of that?
Do I have to accept this marketplace for my sex?

Nice torso pic

I dunno, I'd mibbee go for a classic head and body shot in a nice location somewhere.
They remain there until you touch them
in reaching for them, spin off. You make them disappear.

Are you the exemplum of male beauty and want to make the second best of that?

Seismic, hardening.

I've always enjoyed good connections.
Slide, blank, rearrange, turn off or move.
I've met maybe 20 guys off here.
I've had 3 loves.
I feel like an older sex worker sometimes
the  kind dads take their sons to on their 18th birthday
in Dr Quinn Medicine Woman.

Are you a UN Peace-Keeper and want to make the best of that?

More reckless, less romantic.

Bed space

about 160 x 200cm
150cm shelf space.


That's part of chilling, silly boy
Just lying in bed, talking shit and maybe having a nap
I want to know you.
Yep u r pretty close to me!
That's nice so u can do a poem about me
might as well wade through a supermarket searching for a stolen watch.

He was a spiky thistle that I nestled for a while

nistle (dismissal), yet I was successful.
He was too juvenile (sorry) to be a respectful or responsible lover or friend.

I found a wasp sitting on the floor.

Just the sting of it, well, the abdomen I guess
looking for abdo-men
and I'd already picked it up,
so it was a safe then the torso
if I didn't move any more to touch it at all
I could see where not to touch it.
Don't clench, flinch, blanch or go silly.

Dr Clutterbuck binned the wasp boy at the sexual health clinic. I approve.

Is called Dr Clusterfuck by almost everybody. 
Is loved by his partner of 14 years.



Real people have finally moved onto my roof terrace.

Well it's not mine anymore, but I like to see it used.

Hello man with the handsome face

Hello, how come you're up so late, neighbour?
Hello Hello sweet nips, I've done my share of shagging around
Looking for something more challenging
so I'm working at the Fringe Festival[are you versatile at all?]
How's your night going? Is that your boyfriend with you in the picture?
Who's the lucky guy who took the picture? My ex.
Not everyone's a match, eh? Good luk tho. x
I know but we'll find someone!
Rear naked bum choke.
Man that's practically poetry.
It's not everyone who has an elephant in their Grindr Pic.
Is your Irish guy still on the scene?
A rimjob would be appreciated ha ha.
Battery gonna die soon so gotta cut to the chase, lol...
Do you want your cock sucked?
Maybe. Send a pic?

1 comment: