eevee on grindr by Nik Way

i downloaded grindr just after pokemon go was released so naturally i pretended to be my favourite pokemon, eevee 

convo 1

OMG a pokemon!

imma catch u

um no thx

what u already got an owner?

no I’m a wild grasser for lyf

also not down with the whole capture

n imprison pokemon just to make em fight

against their will. ya feel?

Lol im talking to an eevee

Quite

Face pic?

Theres one on my profile

No, real face pic

Look Im an Eevee so thats my face

Ok then im articuno

Omigod ur so rare

amazin to meet u articuno

yeah n this water and flying type is flyin away

articuno is flying / ice bro

and u never gonna fuck me

err that took a weird turn but sure

im okay with that

[sends a pic of his butt and then blocks eevee]

convo 2

R u into older bottoms?

imma pokemon so dunno what

that means fam soz

what????????

Look this is me

Ur a cartoon???

Imma eevee

my husband and i r into BDSM

Good for u

u wanna be spit-roast & whipped?

Pretty sure interspecies pokemon

bestiality is like, well illegal m8

im 63

congrats im level five

u must’ve beaten a lotta gyms

u do chems?

does rare candy count?

ur not takin it srsly bye then 

convo 3

eevee is ma fave

caught one today

congrats fam. treat it well or

i’ll come at ya like a gyardos usin dragon rage

what u want to be when

ur older eevee?

dunno. happy would be nice but

ill settle for well fed

lol

what u wanna evolve into

urgh well that’s a lot of effort u feel?

like for half of em I need to find magic

stones which are rare af and the rest

I need to become good friends with a trainer

during the day or night like no thx not worth

it just to get a glam mermaid tail or whatev

what made u make this profile

like why be eevee

I am eevee

ok but the guy behind

the profile why pick a pokemon

on a gay hook-up app?

for the lols. on here ppl either get the joke

or they have no idea whats going on. its just

for my own amusement.

rly?

I guess its also a reaction to the shallowness

of this thing like ur just scrolling through a face

mosaic thinkin ‘I could do better’ judging ppl

on their eyes or abs n like i cant do that

I dont think i can put my face up for judgement

n not get like knocked evrytime someon doesnt

reply cos i know all their goin on is my face like

thats too personal to broadcast to every other

gay guy in the area, on a place where ur very presence

means ‘i am alone’. so i have my fun bein an eevee

to avoid rejection and the lowering of self-worth

that comes with it

wanna suck my dick?

sure