Sunday 25 October 2015

Equal Opportunity Shagger by Menno Kuijper

Lyrics by Menno Kuijper © 2006 + 2011 
for a song written by Menno Kuijper & Richard Link © 2006

Equal Opportunity Shagger

(Announcement over drum roll)
And now ladies and gentlemen, a song about moral awareness and social sensitivity!

There are people who go through profiles
The way they go through shopping catalogues
They check your details, compare your features
And make sure that you tick their every box
And if you don’t, well, tough, they won’t even
Bother looking at you twice
To me it seems so cold and superficial
But I guess that they don’t always realise

That in the end, we’re all human beings
Who need love instead of prejudice
I will never be so narrow-minded!
Just think of all the fun that you would miss…

I’m an Equal Opportunity Shagger
I like guys of any shape and size and form
And I love them all with gay abandon
Every hole’s a goal, as long as it is warm!
            (Hot shit!)
I don’t care about trivialities
Such as the hair on your back
If you look a bit like Shrek
The penis that you’ve got
Be it circumcised or not
I’m an Equal Opportunity Shagger
All I care abouououout
(Care about)
Is to share it ououououout
(Share it out)
So what d’you say, your place or mine?
Or right here would be just be just fine!


            Oui, oui!


            For all!
Für alle!
Per tutti!
Pour tout!

The person next to you may not be up your street
But they could be the finest shag you’ll ever meet!
So come with me and sow the seeds of love
(Spoken, by small / weedy guy)
God knows I’ve got buckets of the stuff

What, the little one?
Who’d have thought!
Er… You free after this?)

‘Cause we’re all Equal Opportunity Shaggers
Whether you’re young
Or old!
And use a zimmerframe
Oh, kinky!
We’re not ones for age discrimination
As long as there’s a pulse then we are game
But please be legal!
And we don’t care about technicalities
If you’re hung like a mouse
Need a pill to get aroused
If you have an extra ball
We don’t care, we’ll do you all!
‘Cause we’re Equal Opportunity Shaggers
All we care abouououout
(Care about)
Is to share it ououououout
(Share it out)
Till it’s all there is
Let’s leave this world
In a state of post-orgasmic bliss!

(Come on give me a kiss
Think of all the fun you’d miss
State of post-orgasmic bliss!)


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