Thursday, 9 June 2016

CATFISH ON A DATE by Thomas smith

My Dad must know something is going on
I have taken a strange amount of interest
In how I look today, which is unusual because
It is completely immaterial to how I write

And I have shaved the bits of my beard
That don’t quite look beardy enough
I have trimmed my moustache until my lips
Are actually visible, I suppose all of this

Is a nod to the fact that the only pictures
You have seen of me are three years
Out of date, which I have admitted to
As I didn’t want to appear a Catfish

I pull on my Christmas Star Wars socks
It's C3P0 today, and I wonder if I wear them
You will wonder if I am gay, but then
As an artist and a poet, so the chances are high

Which wouldn’t matter, if it was a date
With a boy as I guess I would want him
To think I was gay, I mean there are a
Couple of men I like, but she’s not one of them

I stick with the socks, It’s a first date
I can’t imagine we will get to the socks on
Or off point, that’s definitely third date territory
Also I decide that not liking C3PO is a deal breaker

I wonder why I worried about my toe nails
I wonder why I am worried, this is meant to be enjoyable
Right? Right… oh fuck, now I really am worried
Can’t wear matching T-shirt I plump for Matrix

It has the three main characters, Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity
If she can name one of them its two thumbs up
If she can name all three I will explain to her if offered the red
And blue pill option I’d take both grind them to dust

And snort them off Trinity’s bottom
Which is essentially what living in the 21st century is like
If she laughs at that it’s three thumbs up
(I’ll find another arm) likewise if she groans

I’m a little worried that if I stop writing then It’ll
Actually happen, I’ll have a date, which leads possibly
To more dates at best, no more dates at worst

I guess that’s win-win, shit I am such a Catfish 

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