Thursday, 13 October 2016

eevee on grindr by Nik Way

i downloaded grindr just after pokemon go was released so naturally i pretended to be my favourite pokemon, eevee 

convo 1

OMG a pokemon!
imma catch u

um no thx

what u already got an owner?

no I’m a wild grasser for lyf
also not down with the whole capture
n imprison pokemon just to make em fight
against their will. ya feel?

Lol im talking to an eevee


Face pic?

Theres one on my profile

No, real face pic

Look Im an Eevee so thats my face

Ok then im articuno

Omigod ur so rare
amazin to meet u articuno

yeah n this water and flying type is flyin away

articuno is flying / ice bro

and u never gonna fuck me

err that took a weird turn but sure
im okay with that

[sends a pic of his butt and then blocks eevee]

convo 2

R u into older bottoms?

imma pokemon so dunno what
that means fam soz


Look this is me

Ur a cartoon???

Imma eevee

my husband and i r into BDSM

Good for u

u wanna be spit-roast & whipped?

Pretty sure interspecies pokemon
bestiality is like, well illegal m8

im 63

congrats im level five
u must’ve beaten a lotta gyms

u do chems?

does rare candy count?

ur not takin it srsly bye then 

convo 3

eevee is ma fave
caught one today

congrats fam. treat it well or
i’ll come at ya like a gyardos usin dragon rage

what u want to be when
ur older eevee?

dunno. happy would be nice but
ill settle for well fed

what u wanna evolve into

urgh well that’s a lot of effort u feel?
like for half of em I need to find magic
stones which are rare af and the rest
I need to become good friends with a trainer
during the day or night like no thx not worth
it just to get a glam mermaid tail or whatev

what made u make this profile
like why be eevee

I am eevee

ok but the guy behind
the profile why pick a pokemon
on a gay hook-up app?

for the lols. on here ppl either get the joke
or they have no idea whats going on. its just
for my own amusement.


I guess its also a reaction to the shallowness
of this thing like ur just scrolling through a face
mosaic thinkin ‘I could do better’ judging ppl
on their eyes or abs n like i cant do that
I dont think i can put my face up for judgement
n not get like knocked evrytime someon doesnt
reply cos i know all their goin on is my face like
thats too personal to broadcast to every other
gay guy in the area, on a place where ur very presence
means ‘i am alone’. so i have my fun bein an eevee
to avoid rejection and the lowering of self-worth
that comes with it

wanna suck my dick?


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