Wednesday, 6 May 2015

NO TIMEWASTERS by Keith Jarrett

No fats, no fems,
And no offence, I have black friends
But sexually they do nothing for me – just the way it is
I’m not racially prejudiced
But no Asians either
No one under 8”
No size queens please
No pic collectors
No one who isn’t willing to send (at least 15) pictures
But no dicks, no arseholes
No timewasters
No one-line messages no stupid questions like What are you into?
Read my list: No queens, no queers, no twinks, no bears,
No gym bunnies
No baggage and no strings to tie them down with
No kink, no whips, no kissing – definitely no kissing
No bad breath, bad hygiene, bad attitude
No rude people! I am not afraid to tell you where to get off!
No under 21s
No over 25s
No lying about your age
No lying about your weight
You are a BIG FAT LIAR... yes you know who you are -
I’ve blocked you already!
No replies to ping pong emails
No replies to Hi - Say something interesting
No “average”, I don’t do average
No marriage proposals from Nigeria
No inferior people
No total subs, no total tops, no vers – make up your mind
(And even worse if you say you’re one thing then turn out to be another)
No undercover closet cases
No couples, no attached
No mismatching eyebrows, no piercings, no tats
No one who hasn’t seen a razor in the last week
No one who hasn’t seen the inside of a gym, in the last day
No one too thin, too short, too dim
No one who can’t hold a decent conversation
No one who talks too much – this is, after all, a cruising site
No low-lives, no unrealistically high expectations... I’m not a model
I’m not an oil painting
And I’m not an unreasonable lad
In fact, I’m not a lad at all, or a boi, especially spelt with an ‘i’... why?
oh yeah, no chAvvy/ratchet greetings like ’Sup or Hey Mista
My list could go on
But I don’t want to sound picky
And if you’ve taken the trouble to read this far then well done
For being one of very few litirate people on here
This site has been going steadily downhill, I don’t even know why I’m bothering
You’re probably a timewaster anyway.  

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